Just in case you needed a reason to head out..

...besides our upcoming nuptials.

This whole East Coast/West Coast, Left Coast/Right Coast thing gets a little crazy (Tupac RIP) but I have to tell you, having lived on both sides, the East Coast wins. If working public transportation, soft pretzels, and general awesomeness won't convince you, I present to you... the Squirrel Defense.

The following video was posted to Jezebel recently, and as heartwarming as it is, NYC squirrels kind of kick the cutie rodents' behinds. Yeah, yeah, the baby squirrel shows a fierce tenacity, but here in Gotham, we have squirrels who are willing to mug you for fries in broad daylight. And what's New York without a good old fashioned mugging by an adorably furry rodent? It only adds to the authenticity of your visit here. Besides, the UCLA squirrel needed help from not one, but TWO, humans. (Had the squirrel lived near USC, I hardly think this would have been the case. And at risk of diminishing my present argument, a Trojan squirrel would kick a Bruin squirrel's behind any day. Fleetwood Mac knew where it was at, duh..)

Yeah, so F and I saw two squirrels stalk some flighty tourist couple for their fries for a good half an hour in Madison Square Park. They'd left their fries undefended on a bench, and damned near lost some, but I'd started chuckling, and the couple turned around just before Squirrel #1 absconded with said fries. Said couple swatted them away a few times before switching to benches near the playground, thinking "Oh, these squirrels don't have enough nuts (hah!) to come after our tasty fried potatoes over here!" But no, one squirrel ran across the sidewalk and under their new bench. It then signaled to the second squirrel to hightail it over to execute Operation Gimme Some. After less than ten minutes, both squirrels obtained some of that coveted golden loot. All WITHOUT human aid! Take that inferior UCLA rodents! Technically, I made it even harder by exposing their plan to steal the fries (Shake Shack crinkle cuts, FYI), and they STILL made out like the bushy-tailed bandits they are!

And so I present to you, Squirrels At UCLA Who Are Not As Cute Or Smart As NYC (or USC) Squirrels.



Also, the park where said NYC squirrels stole friend from humans is mere blocks from the Ace Hotel. That's where we're staying. And some other peoples. In case you want to hang out with the cool kids.

i!